Waking up is hard to do

The only reason I managed to get any sleep last night was because I finally was able to see visit Ava in the NICU for the first time. But after only 3 hours of shut eye I awoke at 5:30 am, alone, sore and in need of some more pain medication. The Morphine was completely out of my system and the adrenaline rush from the excitement of Ava's debut kept me from feeling much physical pain the day before. Today I can finally feel the aftermath. My abdomen is so sore that I'm afraid to roll over in bed and my back is so sore from being hunched foward for the past 20 hours so I need to roll over. I can't stand this!

The nurse just came in to check on me and removed the dressings from my insicion. I can see the cut for the first time strait accross my stomach from hip to hip. That surgery was something I never planned to have, nor the epidural. But I guess Ava is already teaching me a lesson; never expect something to play out exactly as you have planned because life with a child is unexpected!

I guess I don't mind the pain as much. Ava is probably feeling alot worse while she lays helpless in the NICU without me to tell her she'll be okay. I wish I could hold her right now but I suppose it's better that she's off limits for now so I can heal up in time to give her the attention and care she is going to need.